Bismillahirahmanirahimm
Astaufirullahalazim...
Apa nk kena dgn hati aku nih...hati yang sakit,disebabkan penyakit-penyakit dunia yang ntah pape..dulu aku paham maksud sakit hati nih lain.Now I realize there is something beyond that which we shoud take care of. No wonderlah ade hadith hati kan to show how important and big, heart is.
A couple of week ago and now on, aku super duper buzy and serabut. There're lots of thing to be settle and to take care on. And when this hell week comes, of course lah angin-angin kemarahan, stress, tension akan sentiasa meluap2..huhu..
Setakat nih, I can swallow my anger if it relates with other people. But with my very very close friend, 'The One I Can Say His Name', i'm ain't. Rasa macam banyak je benda yang tak berkenan dengan diri dia. And even, I already told all those things 3 years ago but until now, the same thing still happen.
The most important thing that make me anger is his behaviour. I know i own u a DEGREE. That's true and painful. For the rest of my life, I can't repay you back. That what makes me sometimes sad and regret much.
Sometimes,I dunt care if he doesn't listen while i'm in need or i'm in pain or stress. But one thing I don't like that he already know and he still do it. Actually I also can do the same thing like what you did, but bila fikir2,nak ke aku jadi macam die?kalau die buat benda jahat,i'm not supposed to be like him. Plus sebelum nih dah tegur kan. So it's up to him nak dengar ke tak. But what i really2 geram is, my I stress and tension with lots of things nih lah nak buat perangai macam2. If i'm not bz rasenye I mst tak kisah pon, sebab sometimes i dunt even have feeling dah. U had trained me well to be souless..
At first place, I think i wanna further our relationship to another stage. But now, I feel so unclear. Like Allah wanna show me something about him. Is it? Or am i just paranoid...But if he is not to be fate with me,hopefully Allah will make our heart calm,redho,and strong. Because I know it not easy for me. But I know, Allah always there for me. I just worry about him, his strong is not so strong. Even I already told him to be prepared and learn more about Allah(the true loved) but he still like that,he doesn't serious. If something happen to us, I hope all those thing that he already seek and learn here, will guide him. May You always guide our heart Allah. Temukan kami dengan orang lebih baik yang dapat membimbing kami ke jalanMu. Jika dirinya tak dapat membimbingku, jangan Engkau satukan kami Ya Allah. Jika diriku tak cukup solehah untuk dirinya, jangan Engkau satukan kami.
Huh.*A big sigh*...usually writing here is something that i will do it last to release my tension. I will prefer to do other things first but if it still doesn't make sense then i'll go for writing. Sometimes I worried if others read mine and misunderstand what i'm wrote. Its all what I feel on that particular time. But Alhamdulillah, usually i feel more calm. Yeah, maybe I should start write back.
