The one who need love

Bismillahirahmanirahim..

Have u ever consider splitting up? What's the 1st step to make it success? Hem, I think I don't have soul anymore. My live is full with sorrow, dark, and depress. Even, for Love.Yeah, I know before this I just continue my life just because my love to Allah, my love to my parents..But now, I can feel I make them disappointed. My life is empty. I don't have anything. I keep making mistakes and mistakes. I make big and big sin. I repented but I don't know smpai bila aku akan tahan. One day, I will do it again and again. And now here am I,doing sin.How pitiful am I. Why,why, why..

Now I don' belong to anybody..I'm bored with my life. I'm bored with everything. Am I not deserve to get better live like others?Don't I am deserve to get Muhammad if I'm not Khadeeja. Yeah, I'm not either Khadeeja nor Aisha.. But I need Muhammad to lead my life, to give light to my live, to give my soul back. Is there any chance for me,my Lord?

I'm sorry if u're not my Muhammad. Thank you for taking care of me. May Allah grant u to jannah. And may Allah give something better for u. You already have me, but sorry not my soul. Its already fly away and i don't know whether I can take it back or not. I'm sorry.

O My Lord, is there any chance for me? Allah,help me. Hold me tight. I know I'm not deserve to get someone better from you, but what I need is just your Love. 

The one miss the Jannah

Ya Allah..jadilahkan lah aku salah seorang dari bidadari bermati jeli itu..
Jauhkan lah diriku daripada meniti di bibir mana-mana lelaki yang tidak sah aku kahwini..
Jadikanlah diri ku ini untuk sentiasa membantu suamiku dalam menegakkan agamaMu..
Pandu lah daku dalam apa jua keadaan Ya Allah..