The one who need to accept the fate

 I know that Allah is planning the best for me. I just need to accept my fate. As human, sometimes my heart is reluctant to accept the fate if I failed on what I aim on. 

Its not because of I really want that but it is because I think that I made people that I love disappointed with me. But i'm sure if I ask them, honestly they are not disappointed with what Allah gave me. Who are us to decide what is the best for life.

I hope what Allah give me is the best. What I need for is just the truly love from Allah and the people that can guide me and bring me to You,Allah. Ampunkan daku Ya Allah atas silap dan salahkan. Daku tahu apa yang berlaku ini atas kesilapan daku. Masih adakah keampunan buat diriku yg hina ini

The one who need tranquility

Bismillahirahmanirahimm

Astaufirullahalazim...

Apa nk kena dgn hati aku nih...hati yang sakit,disebabkan penyakit-penyakit dunia yang ntah pape..dulu aku paham maksud sakit hati nih lain.Now I realize there is something beyond that which we shoud take care of. No wonderlah ade hadith hati kan to show how important and big, heart is.


A couple of week ago and now on, aku super duper buzy and serabut. There're lots of thing to be settle and to take care on. And when this hell week comes, of course lah angin-angin kemarahan, stress, tension akan sentiasa meluap2..huhu..


Setakat nih, I can swallow my anger if it relates with other people. But with my very very close friend, 'The One I Can Say His Name', i'm ain't. Rasa macam banyak je benda yang tak berkenan dengan diri dia. And even, I already told all those things 3 years ago but until now, the same thing still happen.


The most important thing that make me anger is his behaviour. I know i own u a DEGREE. That's true and painful. For the rest of my life, I can't repay you back. That what makes me sometimes sad and regret much.


Sometimes,I dunt care if he doesn't listen while i'm in need or i'm in pain or stress. But one thing I don't like that he already know and he still do it. Actually I also can do the same thing like what you did, but bila fikir2,nak ke aku jadi macam die?kalau die buat benda jahat,i'm not supposed to be like him. Plus sebelum nih dah tegur kan. So it's up to him nak dengar ke tak. But what i really2 geram is, my I stress and tension with lots of things nih lah nak buat perangai macam2. If i'm not bz rasenye I mst tak kisah pon, sebab sometimes i dunt even have feeling dah. U had trained me well to be souless..



At first place, I think i wanna further our relationship to another stage. But now, I feel so unclear. Like Allah wanna show me something about him. Is it? Or am i just paranoid...But if he is not to be fate with me,hopefully Allah will make our heart calm,redho,and strong. Because I know it not easy for me. But I know, Allah always there for me. I just worry about him, his strong is not so strong. Even I already told him to be prepared and learn more about Allah(the true loved) but he still like that,he doesn't serious. If something happen to us, I hope all those thing that he already seek and learn here, will guide him. May You always guide our heart Allah. Temukan kami dengan orang lebih baik yang dapat membimbing kami ke jalanMu. Jika dirinya tak dapat membimbingku, jangan Engkau satukan kami Ya Allah. Jika diriku tak cukup solehah untuk dirinya, jangan Engkau satukan kami.



Huh.*A big sigh*...usually writing here is something that i will do it last to release my tension. I will prefer to do other things first but if it still doesn't make sense then i'll go for writing. Sometimes I worried if others read mine and misunderstand what i'm wrote. Its all what I feel on that particular time. But Alhamdulillah, usually i feel more calm. Yeah, maybe I should start write back.

The one who need love

Bismillahirahmanirahim..

Have u ever consider splitting up? What's the 1st step to make it success? Hem, I think I don't have soul anymore. My live is full with sorrow, dark, and depress. Even, for Love.Yeah, I know before this I just continue my life just because my love to Allah, my love to my parents..But now, I can feel I make them disappointed. My life is empty. I don't have anything. I keep making mistakes and mistakes. I make big and big sin. I repented but I don't know smpai bila aku akan tahan. One day, I will do it again and again. And now here am I,doing sin.How pitiful am I. Why,why, why..

Now I don' belong to anybody..I'm bored with my life. I'm bored with everything. Am I not deserve to get better live like others?Don't I am deserve to get Muhammad if I'm not Khadeeja. Yeah, I'm not either Khadeeja nor Aisha.. But I need Muhammad to lead my life, to give light to my live, to give my soul back. Is there any chance for me,my Lord?

I'm sorry if u're not my Muhammad. Thank you for taking care of me. May Allah grant u to jannah. And may Allah give something better for u. You already have me, but sorry not my soul. Its already fly away and i don't know whether I can take it back or not. I'm sorry.

O My Lord, is there any chance for me? Allah,help me. Hold me tight. I know I'm not deserve to get someone better from you, but what I need is just your Love. 

The one miss the Jannah

Ya Allah..jadilahkan lah aku salah seorang dari bidadari bermati jeli itu..
Jauhkan lah diriku daripada meniti di bibir mana-mana lelaki yang tidak sah aku kahwini..
Jadikanlah diri ku ini untuk sentiasa membantu suamiku dalam menegakkan agamaMu..
Pandu lah daku dalam apa jua keadaan Ya Allah..

The one who scared with her final exam

Pernahkan anda mengalami situasi di mana anda merasakan anda lost and empty and u need someone/something to turn or to hold?

Aku selalu rasa cam tuh..selalu..

And one day, aku ade tgk rancangan kat tv nih..One of the panelist tuh ckp if u rasa u feel lost or empty, just grab your Quran and niatkan supaya Allah ilhamkan sesuatu and terus bukak mana2 page yg u rasa nak bukak. Then baca terjemahanya.. Insya Allah akan ade apa2 yg Allah nak bgtau melalui Quran dan terjemahanya itu.

Yes.Islam is syumul. Ia meliputi semua aspek kehidupan. Cuma kita je tak bersyukur dan tak guna sepenuhnya. And that people is me. Ya Allah, kurniakanlah pengakhiran yg terbaik buat aku dan org2 yg aku syg.

Ok,let me tell u experience aku with Al-Quran. Like tonite, aku study and aku rasa mcm 'ish,x tau ape2 yg aku baca dr td,mcm hampeh,macam mmbazir mse,n rse mcm2 lah'. Then aku grab Quran, then aku sje2 je n terbukak surah an nahl ayat 43-54(1 halaman je)..n aku bace terjemahan dan aku tadabbur.

Yup,sgt2 kena with ape yg aku rse skrg, ayat 43 ade bgtau, if x tau silalah berguru dgn org yg tahu..and it relates with me. Aku nih selalu malas nak berguru dgn org lain. Berguru dgn buku je. And aku tahu dlm Islam sgt2 salah n x elok if kita berguru dgn buku.

And ayat last untuk halaman tuh ayat 53 n 54,
"Dan segala nikmat yg ada padamu datangnya dari Allah, kemudian apabila kamu ditimpa kesengsaraan,maka kpdNya lah kamu meminta pertolongan".
Aku nih sombong,bodoh,slalu lupa kat pencipta aku, kdg2 mse susah pon lupa,mse senang pon lupa. ya Allah ilhamkan lah hati dan fikrahku  dan org2 yg aku syg supaya sentiasa ingat dan cinta dan bersyukur padaMu. Semoga ingatan kami pada Mu dpt membuahkan kebaikan yang mana dapat kami zahirkan dalam perbuatan dan kehidupan kami seharian. Berikanlah kami kekuatan itu.

So skrg,x yah sedih2..just go on..bukak balik buku yg ttup td, amik blk pensel yg dah simpan td, and turn page lain and bce balik..

Alhamdulillah Allah untuk semangat ini. Allah sgt2 sweet terhadap saya. sgt2 Ar-Rahim..Moga ingatan sy sentiasa untuk Nya sbb sy tahu Allah sntiasa ingat hamba2 Nya cuma saya je x ingat Dia kn.

The one who don't have wardrobe

Sedih tak bile one day u blk dr kedai n bwk shopping bag and your friend asked

"Eh, beli baju d recycle boutique ke?"

Padahal paper beg tuh ade tupperware and buku2 mse g kelas or baju hujan or baju kawan pinjam td..x layak ke muka aku nih shopping baju2 brand skit..T__T

Sedih tak bile one day your friend tgk your wardrobe and she asked u

"Eh,nih je ke smua baju2 u?, serious? sikitnya bg seorg ppuan..hari2 pakai baju ape je"

Padahal x de la sikit sangat pon..dlm 8,9 helai je la yg slalu pakai, ade org yg x bnasib baik tuh ade sehelai pon dah bsyukur sgt. Banyak kang x muat almari plk..T__T

Sedih tak bile one day your friend asked

"Everyday pakai jacket same je,x de jacket lain ke,bosanye"

Padahal kat Malaysia nanti bukan nak pakai pon smua jacket2 nih, beli bukan main banyak, nanti nak balik buang/sedekah je sbb tpakasa kan. Membazir je. Lagipon jacket bukan pakai 24/7.. Lagi2 aku nih slalu kepanasan..T__T

Sedih tak bile one day your friend tgk kasut2 u kat shoe rack and said

"Laa,your shoes ke...hehe..ingatkan yang sape la pelik sgt nih"

Yes,that's mine..Its cheap and x cantik and sgt2 nampak murah, but tahukah anda kerana kasut2 murah itulah everyday i'm going to lecture tak sesejuk pakai selipar. Tahukan anda kasut buruk itulah yang banyak menyelamatkan kerana selalu lambat ke class everymorning and dpt berlari2 bukan seperti sepatu tinggi merah anda..

Bersyukur lah kita dengan setiap urat benang yang ada pada badan kita..Bukan jenama yang dinilai,bukan juga kualiti atau kuantiti tapi kualiti si pemakai itu lebih penting dari segala jenama yang ada.

Bagi sesetengah manusia, pertanyaan seumpama itu ibarat persoalan dalam penghinaan namun apa yang penting bagaimana untuk kita bertindak balas atas apa yang ditanya. Bersyukurlah dan kasihanilah pd yang bertanya kerana dia masih tak sedar bahawa dia patut bersyukur kerana berapa ramai lagi yang x dpt mengecapi peluang untuk berbelanja membeli pakaian sepertinya.

Tetapi alangkah malunya diri ini kerana kadangkala kita yang membelanjakan beratus-ratus ringgit/dollar demi pakaian masih tidak dapat berpakaian sepertimana yang disuruh oleh agama kita berbanding dengan mereka di Palestin sana yang mana hanya memakai pakaian yang disedekahkan oleh kita.

Jangan pernah malu jika pakaian kita tidak setanding 'mereka'. Tetapi malulah kita jika pakaian kita lebih teruk dari mereka di Palestin sna.

Berbelanjalah apa yang anda mahukan tetapi biarlah berpada..

The one who wanna be dicipline people

Benarlah seperti mana pepatah Melayu lama, 'Masa itu emas'..Sebagaimana juga pepatah Arab lama, 'Masa ibarat pedang, jika kamu tidak memotongnya nescaya ia akan memotongmu.'

And that what I am, the one yg kna cut..Astaufirullahalazim, final just around the corner. I even don't start any single thing ablout my final exam..plus i know this time is the most crucial time for me living as uni's student, especially for the electromagnetism and optic part..huhu..

And same goes to my life..I have start menabur benih-benih kemalasan dalam diri.. Aku dah start perform subuh prayer lambat, n after solat aku jgk dah malas nak solat sunat, puasa sunat lagilah kan..Aku tak berdisiplin...How can i counter all this things